We Regularly Make an Impact on People by Helping Them, and That is our Reward

Publisher’s Note – This spring, Brian Folsom was the keynote speaker at North Shore Community College’s mortuary science pinning ceremony. Below is an excerpt of Brian’s address.
 
I’m sure we have all heard the phrase – there are no guarantees in life, except death and taxes. But what’s always left out from that quote is change. As John F. Kennedy once famously stated, “Change is the law of life, and those who only look to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”
 

Two years ago, you, the Class of 2024, chose change in your lives and chose to mold your futures. But as a funeral director and embalmer, there is one thing that will never change. No matter where you are or who you meet, you will always have the most interesting career. Your name will be forever tied with your occupation. When the topic of your career comes up, you will find that just about every conversation goes the same way. It’ll start with an awkward pun or joke that we’ve all heard a million times, such as “people must be dying to meet you,” “you put the fun in funeral,” or “you’re the last one to let someone down.” I’m sure you get the idea. The tiresome joke is usually followed by talking about someone they know who worked at a funeral home, then they start asking every question they can think of. It’s not only you that will get interrogated about your career. Your significant others and your family will quickly find out that they will be asked just as many questions as you.
 

I have to believe that the reason for this is not only because the topic of death is uncomfortable and a bit taboo for most, but because most people really have no idea what we do. Our job is one of the oldest occupations in the world. It exists in every country. Our communities know right where their local funeral home is located, and everyone will need our services at some point, but yet no one knows what we do or how we do it.
 

I, too, have a hard time trying to tell people what my job is. This career is so diverse, it is hard to put into words. We are the jacks of all trades. We are artists and event planners, financial advisors and psychologists. If you do it right, people will trust you and, in only a few minutes of meeting you, tell you more than you ever want to know about their family. We solve every problem so that we don’t place any additional burden on the family. We are solutionists.
 

We serve everyone who calls on us with dignity and respect, without judgment, whether they are rich or poor, a good person or bad, old or young, and regardless of race, religion, or culture. You will experience the worst that humanity has to offer. Unfortunately, you will be exposed to things that will stay with you for the rest of your lives. You will have long, stressful, and difficult days. But don’t get discouraged.
 

Luckily, we also get to regularly see the best in humanity. We get to plan tributes to some of the most wonderful and amazing people on this planet, all while making sure that we are never the focus. It will never be about you. We regularly make an impact on people by helping them, and that is our reward.
 

I couldn’t find who to attribute this statistic to, but I stumbled upon the stat that you will meet approximately 80,000 people in a lifetime. As funeral directors, I can say that we absolutely meet more people than that. And to make this statistic more interesting, when we meet those more than 80,000 people, it’s usually during some of the hardest times in their lives.
 

Each of us has the ability to make an extraordinary cumulative impact during our lives. So today, as you stand on the threshold of your future, make sure you embrace the possibilities that lie ahead, no matter what path they lead you on. Be sure to never turn down a challenge or the opportunity to try new things. I’ll let you in on a secret. I’m not a big fan of public speaking, but I know the best way to get better at something is to do it. So here I am, practicing what I preach. I’ve never met anyone who has regretted trying. You may not always succeed, but at least you tried.
 

I will leave you with this fun fact to ruminate on. Research has found that up to 70 percent of people experience positive psychological growth from facing adversity and challenge. It results in a deeper sense of self and purpose, a greater appreciation for life and loved ones, and an increased capacity for altruism, empathy and desire to act for the greater good.
 

So as you start a new chapter in your lives, make sure you stay true to your dreams, continue to challenge yourself, and strive to make a positive impact in whatever way possible. Some of the smallest gestures of kindness can make the biggest impact. To me, this is the secret to having a fulfilling and rewarding career, and how we can make a positive impact on each of those 80,000 people we will meet.