JUNE 2023

 
Marriage is a wonderful union of two individuals who come together to share their lives, dreams, and aspirations. While marriages bloom from romance and passion, they can’t be sustained on love alone. Without a good foundation, odds are you will end up divorced. One of the key areas and top reasons for the “D” word are disagreements around finances. Managing your finances can become a challenge if there are different philosophies around money, spending/saving habits, disorganization, and lack of communication.
 

First and foremost, it’s essential to have clear communication about money in your marriage, just like any other topic. Here are some tips and advice for managing money in your marriage:
 

1. Be Transparent About Your Finances
Open and honest communication is critical when it comes to managing your money as a couple. Financial transparency is a must. Talk to your partner about your credit scores, debts, and savings. Share your financial goals and have a clear picture of your household expenses. By being transparent about your finances, you can build trust and establish a common understanding of your financial situation.
 

2. Create a Budget Together
Once you have a clear understanding of your financial situation, it’s essential to sit down together and create a budget that works for both of you. This is one of the most crucial steps towards managing your finances effectively as a couple. Start by creating a list of your monthly expenses, including items such as mortgage, utilities, groceries, transportation, and childcare. Then, decide how much you want to save each month, and allocate a portion of your income towards paying down debts.
 

Working together to create a budget will help you stay on top of your finances and avoid any surprises that may arise along the way.
 

3. Decide How You Want to Manage Your Finances
There are many ways for couples to manage their finances. Some couples prefer to have a joint account and pay all expenses from there, while others prefer separate accounts and split expenses based on income. It’s important to decide together how you want to manage your finances, and what works best for both of you. It’s also important to revisit this conversation regularly and adjust your approach as needed.
 

4. Hire a Financial Advisor
As a team, it’s important to plan a long-term financial strategy that will help you achieve your shared dreams and goals. This includes saving for things like retirement, buying real estate, traveling, starting a family, or funding a business.
 

As your finances and complexities of life grow hire a financial advisor. They will ensure that your financial goals and investments are reviewed regularly and keep track of your progress together. It’s not just about having a plan, but ensuring that your plan is efficient, effective and will hedge against some of the biggest risks such as longevity risk, market volatility, liquidity risk, operational risk, and credit risk.
 

In conclusion, managing your finances in your marriage is a journey that requires transparency, communication, and teamwork. By being open about your finances, creating a budget together, deciding how to manage your finances, and planning together for the long-term, you can ensure financial security and stability as a couple.
 

Securities and advisory services offered through Packerland Brokerage Services Inc., an unaffiliated entity – member FINRA & SIPC
 

To learn about how Ariel can help your family, listen to her conversation with Tom Leyden on the Westwood Living Podcast Network, available on SoundCloud, Stitcher, Spotify, Amazon and YouTube.

Not every topic we discuss, or task we tackle in life is fun and entertaining. Some of the most vital decisions we make require focus, serious attention, and strategic thought. When we travel out of our comfort zone, it’s vital to feel safe by surrounding ourselves with a team of experts who know the answers, are trained to teach, and are dedicated to serving you with care. Tiffany O’Connell and her team at the O’Connell Law certainly qualify in each of those categories.

Planning your estate should be at the top of your list, but if you haven’t done so yet, you’re not alone. In her book, “Do You Have A Plan? How to Avoid Leaving a Mess,” Tiffany details her top observation from more than three decades of working in this complex field.

“I’ve observed that people fear having the necessary conversations that deal with illness, incapacity or death, delaying or never dealing with them,” she writes. “I’ve seen it happen too often that because a person did not meet with me in time, a mess was left for their loved ones to deal with. I genuinely feel that the person would not have wanted to leave such chaos, yet a nightmare was left to deal with because of their inaction.”

After graduating from Boston College, Tiffany pursued her J.D. from the New England School of Law, graduating in 1994. She is considered to be among the top Elder Law and Estate Planning attorneys in New England and frequently lectures on the topic of Alzheimer’s and dementia as well as Trusts and Estates. Her attention to detail sets her apart, and so does her sense of humor.

The O’Connell Law’s marketing campaign humanizes the topic of estate planning, connecting sentiment with emotion and reason, painting a picture of what “could be” based on the decisions you make (or don’t make) today. The tongue-in-cheek approach is intentional because breaking that barrier of fear is critical as she and her team open the eyes of potential clients.

“It’s not just a Will and or a Trust,” said Tiffany. “It’s also having a Power of Attorney in place so that if someone needs to handle financial stuff in your name, someone can do it when it’s needed. And what about health decisions? So many people think, ‘Oh, an estate plan is just for when I’ve died.’ No, an estate plan is also for when you’re living, for when you just can’t take care of things, whether it’s the financial, Power of Attorney or Trust, or health decisions, which in Massachusetts, we call a healthcare proxy. So those documents are crucial, not just for you, but for your loved ones.”

What draws someone to a career in Estate Planning and Elder Law? Tiffany’s path to this complex field was paved during her time in the U.S. Army, serving as a Reserve in the JAG Corps.

“I always tell people I was mightier with the pen than the sword, but it was really, truly my honor,” said Tiffany of her time in the military. “I never served overseas, but I did serve a two-year period of active duty in Washington DC. My role was to represent disabled soldiers as they were going through the disability process at the Walter Reed Hospital. It was such an honorable position, at times a very sad position, but it was just so wonderful trying to help these soldiers. It was through that experience that I found out I loved estate planning because talking with the soldiers and realizing, oh my gosh, this is about people, this is about values, this is about helping people, that I realized estate planning was for me.”

The sense of order gleaned from Tiffany’s time in D.C. has translated into the way O’Connell Law functions each day. The staff’s efficiency is apparent in every communication, along with attention to detail.

Cathy, a client who has worked with the O’Connell Law team, said, “The entire staff –support, legal assistants, attorneys– is personable, supportive, and efficient. They were welcoming, caring, knowledgeable, and professional, providing excellent guidance and expertise. The process and fees were explained to me in advance, so I knew what to expect. Calls and meetings were scheduled in a timely manner with a quick turnaround on replying to emails and answering questions. I couldn’t be happier being their client and look forward to a long relationship with them!”

Listen to my full conversation with Tiffany by visiting the Westwood Living Podcast Network, available on SoundCloud, Spotify, Stitcher, Amazon, and YouTube. Learn more at oconnelllawgroup.com

Hello everyone! Spring is in the air, and with it comes warmer weather, greener trees, and a new round of spring sports! Whether this is a child’s first attempt at whichever activity they choose, or if they are a “veteran” of the sport at hand, there is bound to be a time when your child experiences the desire to quit. Why does this happen, and what can we possibly do about it?

First of all, quitting can be a good thing. Whether it’s baseball, soccer, dance, or martial arts, if a child truly does not want to continue with their sport of choice, or if it is negatively impacting their health or grades, it is a sign of strength to speak up and express their feelings.

However, more often than not the desire to quit comes from experiencing some type of difficulty, stress, or failure all of which are vitally important parts of the learning process. If a child gives in to the urge to quit, it can become easier and easier to quit and soon the desire to give up will appear anytime there is some type of difficulty.

So when our kid says “I quit,” what do we do? Lets understand some reasons why kids want to quit:

– They are not progressing as quickly as they want to, or perhaps not at all
– The feeling of disappointing teammates or coaches
– The perception that they are not good at it, especially in comparison to others
– Their best efforts are still not getting them to where they want to be
– A friend quit, so they want to as well
– They have experienced some kind of defeat (lost a game, fell during a routine, failed a belt test, etc.)
– Bullying

How can we help our children avoid or deal with this feeling, even when it feels like their mind is made up and they want out? Well, the earlier you can communicate to them the potential challenges they will face, the better…especially if it is before any commitments are made. Help them understand what they need to do to break through the learning curve, and manage their expectations. We don’t want to dissuade them from trying, but it is wise let them know what difficulties lie ahead. We also want to make sure they understand that even though some difficulty is almost guaranteed, it is not impossible to overcome!

As a parent, it is important to remember that we must remain empathetic to our child when they hit this point. Avoid showing frustration, and instead try to get to the root of the issue.

Some questions that could give some insight are: “You were really excited to do this at first, what changed?”, “Are you disappointed with how you are doing?”, “Is someone hurting you, physically or emotionally?”, and “Would you like to play the same sport/activity, but on a different team/somewhere else?”

In martial arts, we talk about the importance of perseverance all the time. Not giving up in the face of difficulty is a core tenet that we believe is critical to install in all of us, and especially in our kids. I have seen many students get to the point of wanting to quit, and do just that. I have also had many break through that point, and go on to be their best! If you feel like your child does indeed need to stick by their sport, remind them of the commitment made by them and you (buying equipment, signing up for a season/term, etc) and that they at least have to finish what they signed up for. If after they still want to quit or do something else, they at least fulfilled their commitment.

If we, as parents and coaches, can show empathy and belief in our children, and help guide them through challenges, difficulties, and defeats, we are setting them up for future success. They will have learned that if they want to achieve something, as difficult as it may be, quitting is not how to reach that goal. Work hard, and come out smiling on the other side!

Until next time.

Learn more about Derek Field and Field Martial Arts by listening to our full conversation on the Westwood Living Podcast Network, available on SoundCloud, Spotify, Stitcher and YouTube

Jackie MacMullan is a Hall of Fame sports journalist who retired in 2021 after more than 40 years covering sports, representing The Boston Globe, Sports Illustrated and ESPN over the course of her career. Jackie graduated from Westwood High School in 1978. I chatted with her to reflect on her time in Westwood and how it molded her life and career.

Tom:
What are your memories of growing up here in Westwood?

Jackie:
My best friends in the world are from Westwood. I have eight women I’m still friends with, we’re called the “YaYas.” I’m 62 years old and I travel the world with them. They’re my oldest and best friends. Westwood is really important to me. It was a great place to grow up. We had a great neighborhood. I grew up on Stanford Drive – played street hockey every day with all the boys in the neighborhood. I was in the marching band, so I used to march in the parade right down High Street.

Tom:
Take me back to the days when you were in high school because you were a bit of a stand-out athlete.

Jackie:
I wouldn’t call myself a standout. I was afraid to try out for the basketball team. I showed up for tryouts my freshman year, I looked in the door, lost my nerve and said, “I’ll do it next year.” Then my sophomore year, I was on the varsity field hockey team. I was a track athlete. I looked in the door again and I just didn’t have the courage to do it, but I liked to be around Kathy Delaney-Smith because I thought she was such a powerful, independent woman that was getting things done. I was very drawn to her and I remember sitting in her office and listening.

She said, “I went down to the junior high today. I saw your sister, Suzie, play. At least I’ll get one MacMullan to play for me.”

I’m a junior in high school at this point. I said, “Oh, well I’ll play.”

Then she looked at me with this horrified look on her face and I said, “Oh, it’s too late. It’s too late.”

She had no idea that I wanted to play. She didn’t know. So she said, “Well, just come to the gym. Come just before school.”

She worked with me so that I could make the team. I really had never played. So I was on the JV as a junior, but once I started playing, I didn’t stop playing until I had neck surgery later in life. She moved me up to the varsity for the state tournament and I actually played a lot in the state tournament that year. And then my senior year, we went to the state championship and lost by a point at the buzzer. Oh – and then the next year, my sister’s team won it all.

Tom:
No kidding. Do you remember who you lost to?

Jackie:
Of course I do. Drury. 42-41. I missed the last shot – a turnaround jump shot, rolled halfway down and out. Got the rebound, thought I was gonna go to the line to win it, and they called me for an offensive foul. I remember it very well.

Tom:
Oh, I can imagine why you would. But it was clear in what I read about you, that you had the bug early to shift your focus to the journalistic side and the writing side. Where did you catch that bug?

Jackie:
My parents were voracious readers. My dad loved newspapers. He was a New York City native. He was a traveling salesman. So he’d come home from his travels and I’d read the New York Post and the New York Daily News and the Boston Herald. There were a lot of newspapers in our house. My dad loved sports. but he had a rule in our house. You couldn’t read the sports section until you read the rest of the paper first. That was my dad’s rule. It was a good rule. So I was curious about newspapers. I was interested in them.

When I was in high school, the girls teams were amazing. I wasn’t even playing at this point. I hadn’t even tried out yet, but everybody was great and every time I picked up The Daily Transcript, I don’t even know if that exists anymore, they were always writing about the boys. So I was like, “What is this about?

I was really annoyed by it and my dad said, “Well, all you do is complain about it. Why don’t you do something about it?”

So he stood right next to me and I called Mr. Wall, the sports editor and I said, “I just wonder why you don’t cover the girls?”

He said, “Oh, I, I don’t have anybody. It’s just me. You want to do it?”

I said, “Well, I’m 15, you know?”

He said, “If it stinks, I won’t print it.”

So I had a sports column in high school. I wrote for The Daily Transcript. Sometimes I was writing about my field hockey team and if I had a goal, I wondered if I was supposed to put in there that I had a goal? It was kind of weird, you know, but I only wrote about girls. I would not write about the boys, only the girls. I only wrote about the girls. One of my friends, her name was Sandy Friedl, she was a swimmer and she broke two school records for boys and for girls.She was amazing. So I wrote about her. It was a lot of fun.

Tom:
Well, times have changed. And you’ve been such a major part of that change, not just locally, but nationally. I don’t even know if you could encapsulate it or summarize it in a short amount of time because so much has changed, but I guess what are you most proud of that has changed in the many years since you embarked on your career?

Jackie:
Well, I think now when a woman walks in to cover an athletic event and nobody really even blinks. For many, many years I would cover colleges and then later, I got to do the pros. Nine times out of 10, I was the only woman there. I was very fortunate. There was another young woman who was my age who’s now old like me, Karen Guregian from the Boston Herald. She’s fantastic – a terrific reporter, terrific person, but she was a hockey writer and I was more of a basketball writer, although we would both be there for the Red Sox World Series games and we’d both be there for the Patriots’ Super Bowls. I always enjoyed that because, I suppose technically Karen and I were competitors, but we were great friends and she was a great support to me. I hope I was the same to her, but we were the exception, not the rule. The last 20, or I would even say 25 years of my career, I was never the only woman, but in the beginning I was always the only woman and it’s lonely and it’s intimidating and it’s difficult.

Tom:
You just referenced your retirement. I’m not alone in wondering what you are doing. What’s keeping you busy?

Jackie:
Yeah, I have so much fun. We moved to the New Hampshire Sea Coast, so I put my kayak on these little wheels and I go across the street and I get out in the ocean and sea kayak a little bit. I took up pickleball just long enough to wreck my back. We’ve got a great garden out back. We live behind a marsh, so I’ve become a complete bird nerd. It’s really fun to learn about all the birds and we do a ton of traveling because our daughter lives in Colorado and our son’s in New York City, so we spend a lot of time hanging out with them, which is really fun.

I go to the library every week, and my only homework for myself is to read one book a week. To be honest, it’s easy. I’ve been waiting years to have the time to relax and read. So I’ve really, really enjoyed it. I’m reading all the Pulitzer Prize-winning fiction novels from current all the way back. Then when I’m done with that, I’ll do the same thing with the non-fiction. So it’s fun.

Tom:
Last one… you referenced your experience growing up in Westwood, but what’s your understanding of what Westwood is now, after all of the years since you made it your home?

Jackie:
I don’t go there very often. I have a couple of friends that live there. One of my “YaYas” still lives there. I purposely don’t go by my old house because I did that once and they had made some changes. They had cut down my dad’s dogwood tree and that upset me, so why put myself through that? But I’m very proud to be from there. It’s a place that very much shaped my life. There’s no question about it. Some of my biggest disappointments were there. Some of my greatest successes were there. And certainly the relationships that I fostered there are lifelong ones. It’s a lifelong commitment, this Westwood thing.

Sitting across from PJ Vande Rydt and Bill Crabtree, I immediately felt an energy and excitement for what they do each day. Both men are born coaches, dedicated to improving the skills and improving the lives of the student-athletes they work with every day. The fact two Westwood guys have built a football program that’s churning out successful college players on a regular basis is remarkable. The resume speaks for itself.

Just last season, four players who went through the Mass Elite program played in the College Football Playoff. Zak Zinter and Greg Crippen were two anchors on the Michigan offensive line, while Kalel Mullings made a series of big plays in the Wolverines win over Ohio State in November. Meanwhile, Xavier Truss has continued to enjoy success at Georgia and played a significant role in the Bulldogs back to back national championships.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had that part planned,” said Crabtree through a big smile and laugh. “PJ and I knew that was gonna happen, we planned that up. Remember that PJ?”

Getting serious for a moment, Vande Rydt recalled, “That clinic when we saw Zac for the first time, we looked at each other and saw his footwork and was like, ‘Oh my God, I’ve never seen anyone with footwork at that level before,’ you know? He ended up going to BB&N, received numerous offers, and there he is today at Michigan. a potential first round draft pick. Billy’s been the catalyst behind that lineman clinic, and it’s grown every single year.”

Crabtree coached at Westwood High School from 1983-89, while Vande Rydt was head coach of the Westwood middle school program from from 2008-2015 before taking over as head coach of Xaverian’s middle school program seven years ago.

With Mass Elite’s success has come growth. When young players and their parents see an established track record, it’s no surprise the Mass Elite clinics fill up fast. Not only do you learn, but you’re seen by the most influential eyeballs in high school and college football.

“When we first started we had one camp, and this year, we’ll have 11 camps,” said Vande Rydt. “Our big one is in June – it’s a three day camp. That’s our oldest one. We do have public high school coaches with us coaching, but it’s mostly private school coaches. It’s definitely unique because we have more than 30 high school head coaches, so it’s not only a great technique and fundamental camp, it’s also a recruiting clinic for some of these kids.

“And I know some of the public school coaches probably won’t like me saying that, but these kids are going to find their way regardless, right? We just give them a tool. We’ve had great success with that over the years.”

“When we started this, we didn’t plan it to be what it has turned into,” said Crabtree. “We’re about technique and fundamentals, but we have become a bit of a pathway to the private schools such as BB&N and St. Sebastian’s, Milton Academy, Xaverian, Dexter. Although we don’t push it, if players want our help and advice or to do recommendations or connect them with a coach, we do that. We do a lot more than bring kids in for a three-hour clinic. We’re still in touch with all of our kids, so it’s a lot more than just the football.”

Before the clinics became such a success, PJ and Bill raised the bar by forming an All-Star team of middle schoolers to represent Massachusetts on the national stage. The first team, led by former Purdue quarterback Austin Burton, finished fourth in the country at the FBU National Championship in San Antonio. That success opened eyes around the US, with scouts and college coaches paying more attention to what’s happening in Massachusetts.

“Our former players, like Preston Zinter, who has enrolled early at Notre Dame to play football, always like to come back and be part of the camps,” said Vande Rydt. “When he comes home, he talks to the kids So they love coming back. It’s great for them. They want to give back what they had when they were younger.”

As the tree of success grows, the branches reach further and further, but the essence of Mass Elite’s mission remains the same. Stick to the fundamentals. Network. Empower. Encourage.

You can learn more about Mass Elite Football by listening to our conversation on the Westwood Living Podcast Network, available on SoundCloud, Stitcher, Spotify, Amazon and YouTube. Visit www.masselitefootball.com for all the information you need to sign up for one of their clinics, including the three-day camp at Xaverian scheduled for June 23-25.

When you know, you know. The first time I met Mike Tinsley, I just knew he was a “people person.” Mike, along with his wife, Bianca, introduced themselves to me at the Westwood Living Fall Social at Casa Loca Cantina and we immediately bonded. I could tell right away Mike and Bianca were sincere and thoughtful and truly interested in meeting people from their hometown of Westwood.
 
Just a few days later, Mike and I met at the library and he signed on as the presenting sponsor of the “Tinsley Team Standout Student of the Month” program, focused on recognizing students from Westwood who have achieved great things. The fact Mike hopped on that opportunity spoke to his commitment to Westwood, to families and to enriching our community by investing in something positive and empowering.
 
Each month, Mike honors the students on his own website, liveinwestwood.com.
 

“I’m excited to be a sponsor,” said Mike. “It’s a great way for me to get initiated into the community a little bit, get my face out there, get my name out there and we’re happy to be that sponsor.”
 

While The Tinsley Team has a great ring to it, Mike’s individual group is one cog in a wheel. Along with his partner, Nick Reynolds, Mike is a managing partner of Longwood Residential.
 
“That’s the overarching brokerage office,” said Mike about Longwood. “We’ve been open since 2011 doing business, helping people buy and sell all around Greater Boston. I’ve got the Tinsley Team, he’s got the Reynolds Group. Nick lives in Medford. He focuses more on the north side of the city, but The Tinsley Team, we focus more towards this side of the city.”
 

Westwood residents for almost three years, Mike and Bianca work together and like many, moved here with the public school system in mind.
 

“Prior to this, we lived in Dedham, not far, so we were always familiar with the general area,” said Mike. “I have a business partner who lives in Westwood. He’s a huge cheerleader for the town, and he was always telling me all the great things that go on here. My son was approaching school-age, and we had that in mind as we were house-hunting. This was a perfect fit and we’ve enjoyed it so far, it’s been good.”
 

The real estate market has been interesting to watch over the last 18 months. Limited inventory has at times put a stranglehold on property movement and interest rates have risen, but Mike has learned a great deal about patience and perspective over the course of his career.
 

“When the interest rates go up, yes, it’s kind of a bummer because your monthly payment on whatever you end up buying is going to be a little bit higher, but it means decreased competition,” he said. “This is something that, for the past few years, everyone’s been complaining about. You probably know, the last few years have been marked by really competitive situations, things going over asking price, multiple offers. Well, now that the interest rates have ticked up, it’s not as bad as it was a year and a half ago.
 

“So for an investor, the idea is you’re gonna pay a little bit more for a multi-family that you’ve purchased because of the increased interest rate, but you’re competing against less buyers. You might actually have a chance to land a great property that otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to land. Rents are very high around the city, so you’re gonna be collecting good rents in whatever property you buy, and then, of course, interest rates go up and down. So you land a great property, maybe interest rates drop later this year, maybe they drop next year, you refinance. Now you’ve got the best of both worlds.”
 

The way Mike talks about real estate is the way a coach talks about his or her sport. You can tell in a coach’s tone and tenor how knowledgeable he or she is about the profession. It’s a confidence that makes his clients feel at ease.
 

“He is so professional, down-to-earth and trustworthy,” said Westwood resident Liah Malley. “We felt immediately comfortable with him and confident that he would guide us through the home-buying process with patience, thoughtfulness and enthusiasm. He certainly surpassed all of our expectations and found us our dream home.”
 

As we sat around Mike’s kitchen table, we finished our conversation by talking about some key lessons Mike might want to pass on to people who don’t follow the real estate market as closely as he does.
 

“I think people can kind of overthink and try to “time” the market,” said Mike. “Listen, you’re never gonna time the market perfectly. No one at the end of the day really knows. So more than that, I always encourage people, whatever makes sense for your situation. Let’s talk about your budget. What can you afford comfortably? What town makes sense for your situation? What size home makes sense for your situation? Do you need a fence because you have a dog? Do you need to be close to the train station because you need to get to work every day in Back Bay? Whatever it is, let’s focus on what makes sense for your situation and let’s make that happen. The timing, it is what it is.”
 

Good advice from a guy who will tell you what’s what with confidence and a friendly delivery.
 

Listen to more of my conversation with Mike on the Westwood Living Podcast Network, available on SoundCloud, Sticher, Spotify, Amazon and YouTube. Contact Mike by calling 508-769-2544.

 
Let’s be honest. Technology has changed and in a world where everyone now fancies themselves a photographer, why bother hiring a professional when you have an iPhone in your pocket?
 

Well let me ask you this – If you had a stethoscope hanging around your neck, does that mean you’re a doctor? If you live in a house with a gorgeous kitchen, does that make you a chef? You put in a home gym – are you now The Rock?!
 

Sitting in Rick Bern’s Needham studio, we discussed the art of photography and the evolution of his successful business. Before our chat, I didn’t have to dig deep to uncover hundreds of glowing five-star Google reviews, many in line with the observations I’ve made working with Rick on the feature shoots for Westwood Living.
 

”Rick’s patience, humor and honesty made this an experience I will not forget.”
“He listens carefully to what you need.”
“Personable, funny, professional, patient“
“Made me feel so comfortable and confident.”
“Takes the time needed to get the right shot and coach you through it”
“Has a lighthearted sense of humor which makes you feel relaxed and comfortable”
“Fun, funny, and efficient.“
“His command of his craft is second to none.”
 

What you don’t read is a word about the type of camera Rick used or the quality of his lighting equipment in the studio. The “special sauce” is the experience itself and the pictures he creates through that process.
 

So what distinguishes Rick from other photographers, or from you as you fire away with your iPhone?
 

“It’s all about connecting with people,” said Rick. “No two subjects are the same, no two projects are identical, yet one thing remains constant. It doesn’t matter if I’m shooting a senior portrait or a CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company – people are people and my job is to help create something authentic. Most days I’m 90% therapist, 10% photographer.”
 

Rick, who lives in Westwood with his wife Jaimie, two Thurston kids (Zack and Ari) uses the lessons he’s learned throughout a well-rounded career to lower stress for his clients. He spent a significant amount of time as a clinical social worker and also built sales teams across the country.
 

Now, as nears his 19th year in business, Rick is a photographer who prioritizes relationships, collaboration, and making sure clients leave feeling better than when they arrived, a winning strategy that’s come very naturally. Rick applies these simple principles as he shoots executive portraiture for top leadership at Fortune 10 companies or while taking pictures of pets, kids or high school seniors. He also leads a team of photographers, each of whom share a similar approach to working with clients when they shoot events, weddings and b’mitzvahs.
 

As our conversation came to an end, he looked around his dimly lit studio and shared a final thought.
 

“It’s quiet now, but most days it’s like a party in here. I love it. We’ll have the music on, my hair and makeup artist will be busy working with our clients, sometimes we’ll order food – it’s a real scene. I want people leaving the studio telling their friends that getting a headshot wasn’t nearly as bad as they imagined. In the end I would even settle for ‘it was slightly better than a root canal.’ For me, that would be a win.”
 

Rick Bern can be reached directly at (617)504-7005. To learn more and schedule a session either at his studio in Needham, or on-location, please visit www.rickbernphotography.com.

Photo By: Rick Bern Photography

It was the character Luna Lovegood who said in Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix, “Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way you expect.”

Loss is jarring, ten times over when that loss is untimely. Nearly twenty years ago, on November 19, 2002, the Westwood community lost one of its finest young men when Todd Schwartz, the beloved son of John and Janet, and cherished brother of Laura and Amy, succumbed to rhabdomyosarcoma months into his sophomore year at UMass Amherst.

While we respectfully and solemnly acknowledge that chapter of the story, painful and personal to so many, we shift seamlessly to how Todd has indeed come back, ten times over in ways never expected by his family, friends and a community that reaches from Massachusetts to Florida and beyond.

“Team Todd” was born shortly after Todd’s diagnosis, with a goal of raising money for the fight against cancer. Todd’s Mom, Janet, who taught kindergarten at Martha Jones Elementary for more than twenty years, was the first team member.

“It was a team of one,” said Janet when reflecting back to the first time she participated in the Boston Marathon Jimmy Fund Walk. “Todd didn’t want the fanfare, but he was there at all the checkpoints, cheering me on along the way.”

In the two decades since, that team of one has grown exponentially in size and impact, with Janet’s infectious passion driving the success of the mission.

“I work as a TV writer and a note I often get for scripts I write is that ‘the mom character doesn’t seem believable,’” said Todd’s younger sister, Amy, Westwood High School Class of 2004. “I laugh every single time, before kindly explaining that this is the only way I know how to describe a mom, based on my own, and that she truly is that amazing in real life. As the leading lady in our family, she has been an example of strength, love, selflessness, optimism, humor, generosity and independence. She has taught us that the best thing she could ever give us is the confidence to tackle anything that comes our way. She’s someone you can count on in any scenario and has always believed that we are capable of anything we put our minds to. She gave Todd that strength, which I believe helped him fight longer than expected.”

While Janet has taken center stage in the fight against cancer, inspiring many to join her cause, and her team, she certainly doesn’t work alone.

“My mom has done so much to support other mothers who have faced cancer in their families and my dad has supported her in doing so,” said Todd’s older sister, Laura, Westwood High School Class of 1998. “They are both my heroes for so many reasons.”

“My dad is such an incredibly gentle, listening ear, who is sensitive and kind, thoughtful and understanding, and also hilarious,” said Amy. “He’s an amazing example of what a husband and father should be, and watching him be the most supportive partner to my mom throughout their experience of losing a child has changed my life forever. I remember hearing something about how a lot of married couples don’t make it through a loss like this, and the statistics aren’t great, but the way my parents took this on together, as a team, has shaped me as an adult, as a wife, and as a friend. This experience could have broken us, but it made us stronger.”

During Todd’s fight with cancer, the Red Sox and The Jimmy Fund were petitioning state officials to have a special license plate created to benefit the Red Sox Foundation and The Jimmy Fund. Todd was asked to be the patient spokesperson as the team made its pitch at the State House. He couldn’t believe he was sharing the stage with Red Sox Hall of Famer Johnny Pesky.

“He got to try on one of Johnny’s massive rings,” said Laura. “Todd was such a devoted Red Sox fan he would schedule his treatments around the Sox home calendar. He figured he was already in Boston for treatment, so he might as well get to a game if he was feeling well enough to attend.”

“There was another group petitioning the Commonwealth that day, Hell’s Angels,” said Janet. “When Todd finished speaking, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. They gave him a standing ovation! He got to choose his own license plate and he chose “RS 54,” which combined his love for the Sox and Tedy Bruschi.”

“Every time I see one of those license plates on the road, I smile and think about that day and how courageous Todd was to stand up in front of so many people and share his story,” said Laura.

When Todd passed, shortly before Thanksgiving in 2002, the news was absorbed by the Westwood community with great sorrow and while some struggled, not knowing how best to show their support for the Schwartz family, others stepped up immediately, in powerful ways.

The most impactful was the introduction of the TJS Softball Classic, a mainstay in Westwood for more than a decade, beginning in 2003. Hundreds of people filled the fields at Westwood High School and the Senior Center, playing softball all day, eating food, laughing and remembering their friend while raising money in his honor. Close to $500,000 was raised for The Jimmy Fund through the TJS Softball Classic.

“The kids from Todd’s camp, Camp Tel Noar, were the ones who started the softball tournament,” said Janet. “They decided that something had to be done as a memorial and become a part of his legacy. Playing softball was something that Todd loved to do.”

“We thought they were crazy. Really? Who’s going to come do this? Next thing we knew they had raised $20,000 in a day and we were stunned. From there, it took off!”

The Schwartz’s reserved a portion of the money from the first TJS Softball Classic to fund an annual scholarship at Westwood High School. The remainder was sent to The Jimmy Fund. The family trusted that Lisa Scherber, the Director of Patient and Family Programs at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, would put it to good use. Todd and Lisa had spent time together and it was Todd who convinced Lisa that teens fighting cancer had to be treated differently than younger kids. He suggested a trip to Red Sox Spring Training would be a great perk for teens being treated at Dana-Farber.

Using those TJS Softball funds, Scherber orchestrated the inaugural Red Sox Spring Training trip. Many of Todd’s closest friends served as chaperones to the younger patients. Together, they interacted with many Red Sox players who would later go on to win the franchise’s first World Series championship since 1918.

The program has grown exponentially over the years and thrives to this day. Each spring, approximately 30 Dana-Farber patients, with their nurses and doctors, fly to Florida for an incredible few days at Fenway South.

Meanwhile, Team Todd continues to participate in The Jimmy Fund Walk, and they’ll be back on the Marathon trail this fall, trekking from Hopkinton to Boylston Street. Since 2002, Team Todd has raised more than $1.5 million. At one point, Todd’s grandfather was among the oldest participants, and now Todd’s nieces and nephews carry on the legacy.

“My kids hear stories about Todd all the time,” said Laura. “It’s important to me that they know as much about him as possible. We’ve made sure that they always feel comfortable talking about him and asking us questions. As they get older, those questions change and it’s important to me that the door is always open for them to share whatever is on their minds.

“They are all registered walkers in The Jimmy Fund Walk and they take an immense amount of pride in fundraising for Team Todd. They know Todd’s oncologist and they know that we walk to raise money for his laboratory where incredible research is conducted every day.”

Amy’s thoughts on her family’s commitment reflect the attitude shared by her sister and parents.

“We saw no other path but to take on Todd’s attitude and continue his efforts to change the ending to this story for everyone,” said Amy. “It’s not about us. It’s about other families just like us who need support. It’s about the families who don’t have a cancer diagnosis and we hope with our fundraising efforts that they never will. It’s about showing other families that you can turn dark times into a bright, shining light. It’s about honoring my brother and the unbelievable mark he left on this world in such a short amount of time.

“Each year, we are continually amazed by how much money pours in to support research at the lab run by my brother’s brilliant doctor, Dr. Loren Walensky, who quickly went from doctor to honorary Schwartz over the years. These donations aren’t coming from large corporate donors. They are coming from people in our Westwood community, our summer camp community, our friends and family near and far. Each donation, big or small, makes a huge difference. Maybe we’d rather be known for just about anything else, but the reality is, this happened to us. We suffered an unimaginable loss that will affect us forever, but it’s what we do with that loss that might be able to help other people and that is so important. If what we do helps other families who are grieving or battling, and gives them some hope while getting us one step closer to a cure, we will never stop this fight. We do it all for Todd.”

“My sister and I have been part of several different communities as our lives have changed in that span of time,” said Laura. “We’ve always felt most comfortable sharing our family’s story wherever we go because Todd is an important part of us and always will be. As our lives change, we make the active choice to tell new friends, neighbors, teachers, and co-workers about our incredible brother. We know that community helps us heal and that sharing our experience of losing a sibling, especially someone as dynamic and vibrant as Todd, may help others heal too. It’s what Todd would want. To us, community is about feeling supported in moments of celebration and in moments of grief.”

Todd continues to find a way to come back, if not always in the way we expect.