Preparing For A Divorce? Some Useful Tips

If you are considering a divorce, here are some tips and considerations:
 
Be Mentally Prepared
 
A divorce can be a traumatic event. It is common when going through a divorce to go through the stages of grief. Having a therapist in place or available can be very helpful to assist as you navigate the challenges that accompany the divorce process. Remember your attorney is not your therapist; having distinct professionals assist you in the process will help to ensure the best possible outcome. The process may end up being a lot longer and more expensive than you anticipate.
 
Organize Your Finances
 
Before you meet with an attorney, you should have a rough idea of your assets and liabilities, including credit card debt or other liens. If there is tax debt owed to the IRS or state, this is very important as well. Further, in order to have a meaningful discussion regarding support, knowledge of your spouse’s income is helpful. If either party is self-employed, a copy of the tax returns may be of use for the initial meeting. Find out the names of professionals involved in your family’s finances and businesses, including accountants and financial planners. Knowing which banks/ credit cards your spouse uses will go a long way. The more information you have, the less discovery (the formal process to obtain information) and research necessary by your attorney.
 
However, often time one spouse has significantly more financial information or knowledge about the household finances than the other – frequently spouses take on different roles to run a household and family. Don’t apologize if you don’t know! A lack of information should not deter you from beginning the process. There are many ways to obtain information and documentation, and your attorney will be experienced in doing so. Unfortunately, as a marriage breaks down, so does trust – which can lead to one spouse withholding financial information from the other.
 
How About Health Care?
 
It is important to know if health insurance is available to the other spouse/family after divorce and the costs. This information can often be determined by contacting the HR department of the employer of the spouse with coverage. If coverage is not available after the divorce, it is important to have the costs of available insurance before any agreements are finalized.
 
Prepare To Speak With Your Children
 
If there are children, the parties should work together to speak with them to let them know the separation is happening. Using a mental health professional to assist with tough conversations or to provide a strategic pathway can be a great resource. Neither parent should ever discuss court, attorneys, finances or the specifics of the litigation with children. Remember, this is not just a marriage ending; it is a complete shift to the family dynamic.
 
Although the process can seem overwhelming, having a strong team of professionals to guide you will help navigate this tumultuous journey.